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Saturday, June 28, 2008
heartbreaking event
lately i'm sadden by some heartbreaking events that happens to me
(or shall i say disappointed), anguished?
it is indeed hard to believe that someone close to me.. disrespect & treated me like enemy.
the love that i've showered, unconditional help & gifts rendered to them without expecting any returns, standby when they need me most...
i treat them like buddies instead of brothers or boyfriends, spend times with them & try to understand them as much as possible
so what i want fr them?
nothing : i just demand respect & gracefulness, that's it!
so difficult?
i really feel down & depressed
kinship & boy-girl relationship are value-less, easily overtaken by selfishness & to their advantages.
i try my best to be a filial son, a good mentor/brothers to my siblings, a good protective colleagues to my peers & a nice caring boyfriend...
BUT at the end of the day, what i get in returns?
i'm happy even at NOTHING.
sigh... i guess it is time for me to learn what is life objective, affirmative, learn how to reject & learn how to live by myself.
when i'm down, where are you?
sMurFy at ... [ 3:07 PM ]
Friday, June 27, 2008
character & attitude
somehow i'd wonder, is a person's character & attitude are in-born or just some circumstances change due to childhood upbringing?
a good nature kids, growing up.. might not be the same as he/she be, surprise?
or shall i say, people change also because of power & status.
it does happen to my siblings, also happens to one of my buddy's sibling
we indeed pretty disappointed
when they need guidance, help, etc.. we rendered unconditionally to them, help them without asking for returns.
BUT when they can earn their living, have some money... huh... is a totally different story.
they try to calculate with you, argue with you, etc...
sigh... sometimes, it doesn't pay to be nice (even yr family members)
pathetic?
i don't really think so actually.
all my life, i try to be nice, try to please peoples around me, my parents, my siblings, my girlfriend, helping my colleagues, etc...
BUT when i need help, who there to help?
sometimes (quite surprisingly), friends are more reliable than those you think they can help you, pathetic?
guess time for me to have a total change
whether a change for my attitude or character, if it can helps
i'll live for myself rather than pleasing those ungrateful shits around me
sMurFy at ... [ 8:46 PM ]
Saturday, June 21, 2008
oFFicE rEnOVatIOn
hiaz.. my mid-life crisis yet gone, now occupied with office renovation
i tot can rest a while after the tedious, fast-pace cctv project.
why i involve again leh?
cos layout change, so does all my cabling & infrastructure, so?
so sat also came back to work & supervise.
an now the new facility manager cum IT, cum security, all the way cum...
somehow, my pay never cum lar, of course
shit.. expect it to be dusty for the next 2 weeks!
sMurFy at ... [ 11:39 AM ]
Friday, June 20, 2008
dIsAPpOInTEd bIRthdAy
last night have a msn chat with my buddy
haiz.. poor him, had a disappointed & sad birthday
thought of going home early & have a good peaceful dinner with family, end up he don't even want to have dinner at all
go home, finding his wife cursing & swearing at the kids.. and the kids crying till the whole flat also know, what the fxxx!
this is not the family he want to setup
he's damn regretting, can't even find warmth inside his own home
i think he now basically just switch off at home, concentrating on his studies
the only objective he still holding tight his family is because of his children.
he really thought of filing for divorce, and bring-up the children himself
he trying hard to become a good husband, a good father & a filial son.. but what's the point when only he himself keep pouring effort while everyone take him for granted?
cool down buddy
this is life, don't take it too hard... else, you'll commit suicide
sMurFy at ... [ 9:00 AM ]
Friday, June 13, 2008
U're being tErMinATed
office cold blood
many times, what can i say?
already close 1 eye, now close 2 eyes...
sMurFy at ... [ 1:33 AM ]
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
isn't it a crazy world now?
sMurFy at ... [ 9:16 AM ]
Friday, June 06, 2008
mid-life CRISIS
shit.. i guess lately i feeling the BLUE all over me
no life, no goal, nothing...
maybe i already attaining enlightenment, so what we exists?
some1 told me, our life expectancy nowadays is around 80
so i guess i'll die early, probably 70?
so my mid-life crisis.. starting soon.
i've a chat with my buddies.. all work damn bloody hard
one thing in mind : climb corporate ladder
most are senior manager, apac head, etc... while i'm just a bloody small-small IT head
haiz...
i dunno what i want, really dunno
maybe it is time for me to :
- rethink of my long term goal
- rephrase my life?
- upgrade myself on some refreshment or MBA courses?
- probably time to change a job?
OR i let go everything, then become a monk OR go far-faraway to a no-man land?
headache, headache
~ direction-less ~
sMurFy at ... [ 11:57 AM ]
Thursday, June 05, 2008
RODENT Year
yep.. u all are right, this is a RAT year for chineseas predicted, it'd bring disaster (recently the myanmar & china) & plague
now.. the RAT is infecting my work placeit bite off the wiring of my door access system, cause 1 to haywiredpestman came.. put lots of glue stick
hiak..hiak..confirm die, right?
the next day, it even bite of some food fr my table
waleu..they start to declare war on me, damn...
see the chocolate on my table?
sMurFy at ... [ 11:29 AM ]
Ah Kok aka PicaKok aka Pica aka ah mun tou
A small pathetic overwork & underpaid IT fella in Axxxxxx
Currently XX yr old in this world (unable to reveal, confidential lar)
Plays badminton & sharpen my photography skills over the weekend...
Loves $$$
Loves bread and instant noodles...but BREAD is the best, pure & YUMMY
Hates idiots
Hates hypocrites